My Dream & Me

In the last two months or so I’ve been busy putting the finishing touches on my two latest novellas: To Protect & Serve (published today!) and Fantasy Fulfilled (soon come!).
It’s been a trying time – what with balancing the day job(s), the joys of motherhood and everyday livity. But then, these are trying times, right?
As the time to upload my books to my Smashwords page approached, I found myself dragging my feet on a number of issues – final edits, cover design approval, marketing…. Those sorts of things…. I recognised the familiar empty nest symptoms I seem to acquire whenever I’m about to release a new book.
Each of my books is a dear part of me and I always feel a sense of loss as I send them out into the world… also, to be honest I feel a sense of fear: Will readers like my stories? Will they like them enough? Will I have to hurt someone for daring to call my “children” ugly? And while I know these insecurities border on the ridiculous in some instances, knowing that hardly mutes the nagging doubts.
Last year I celebrated my birthday with a sense of sadness. No, not because of my advancing age (I ceased adding years a few years ago when I became comfortable with becoming 45 and saw no need to count beyond that milestone!) but because as much as I enjoyed and appreciated the gifts and the presence of family and friends at the small gathering, the one thing I want more than anything (well not anything but badly enough that I feel the burn in my belly!) still eludes me: international success as a bestselling author.
There was a time when my dream was to be a writer. Done!
Then I longed to be a good writer. Done (with constant room for improvement, of course)!
Then I wished to be a published writer. Done!
Now I want to known as a good writer! Globally!
I want to write stories so entertaining that people want to talk about them in the lunchroom at work… you know, like they talk about the latest popular prime time dramas.
That’s how I want to make my mark as a writer. (And while I’m at it I’ll also make some “foolish money”, as one friend puts it.)
That’s my dream!
Perhaps To Protect & Serve (Drama) and Fantasy Fulfilled (Romance) will be the ones to propel me towards realisation of that vision. The Ones.
Time will tell.
Meanwhile I keep dreaming; I keep the faith….
I write….

Nailah is founder of Caribbean Passion, the Caribbean’s premier Romance series. She is the author of the Romance novellas To Star, With Love, Someone To Watch Over Me, Second Time Around, and Cruising to Love. She is also the author of the YA novellas Colourblind, available on Amazon and Smashwords, and Pick of the Crop. Her latest novella is To Protect & Serve.